What to Expect
Your First Time Made Simple.
Everything you need to know before your first session — from registration to what happens in the room. No surprises.
It always starts with curiosity. That little thought: "What would it feel like to be in a room full of men, all stroking together? Would I fit in? Would I even be able to relax?" That spark is the first step.
"How does it work?" is the most common question we get. Walking into something this intimate for the first time can feel like a leap. Here's exactly what to expect.
Step by Step
From Registration to the Room
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Register
Every attendee registers online in advance — walk-ins aren't permitted.
Registration is required. Online payment is optional. Your spot is reserved when you register, regardless of which payment method you choose.
See upcoming events and pricing -
Get the Details
Location details arrive in two steps:
- General location
- When you register. The general area of the session — within about five minutes of the actual location — so you know roughly where you're headed.
- Exact location
- About one hour before the session starts. The exact address and room details, sent by email to registered attendees.
The general address first means you're not circling Raleigh with obvious intentions.
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Check In
Arrive at the posted start time — not before — and no later than 30 minutes after. Head straight to the room; there's no hotel front desk to check in with.
Have these ready at check-in:
- Your ID (21+ required)
- Your registration QR code — it's in your confirmation email and your room info email
- Your payment (cash or card), if you chose BATE at the Door / Pay at the Door
Once you're checked in, you'll receive a numbered bag for your belongings and a matching wristband.
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In the Room
You can stay in your own corner, sync with the group, or lock eyes and lose yourself. Move at your own pace, on your own terms.
One will either engage in solo masturbation or group masturbation during BATE: Raleigh events. Any sexual activities beyond that are not permitted. See What's Permitted in the Code of Conduct.
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Consent & Safety
One must receive consent before engaging with another person. Every person controls their own body and the boundaries they set. Consent can be taken just as easily as it was given.
Read the Code of Conduct -
Leave When You're Ready
You don't have to stay the entire time — some guys leave after finishing, others linger until the end. That's completely fine.
Inside the Room
How a Session Unfolds
The room usually starts quietly — a handful of guys stroking slowly, catching glances, testing the rhythm. Some ease in from the sidelines; others arrive already in the zone. The sound of lube, a shift of breath, a sudden gasp as someone edges too close. It spreads fast until the whole space hums with heat.
Consent isn't just a rule here — it's what makes the energy work.
Read: What Really Happens Behind the DoorGood to Know
Before You Go
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Arrival Window
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What to Wear
Most guys prefer to go nude, but it's not required. If you'd rather keep something on, there's a minimum: strip down to at least one article of clothing — t-shirt, jockstrap, or underwear.
Footwear and shoes are allowed. Fetish wear and gear are permitted. No face coverings (ski masks).
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What's Provided
- Coconut oil lube
- Mouthwash or mouth rinse
- Hand soap
- Towels
- Mints or candy
You're welcome to bring your own lube if you like.
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Location
Sessions are held at a local hotel unless stated otherwise. You'll get the general location when you register and the exact location about an hour before — see Step 2.
Social events are usually held at a local bar and don't follow this process — check the event listing for details.
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Your Belongings
You'll receive a numbered bag for your clothing and belongings, plus a matching numbered wristband. Your bag is kept safe until you're ready to leave (think: coat check, but for pants).
Please keep big bags and backpacks in your vehicle, as they take up too much space in the room.
When you're ready to go, find the host or a door check volunteer — they'll get your bag and collect your numbered wristband.
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Feeling Unwell?
Please stay home if you have symptoms of a contagious illness. See When to Stay Home in the Code of Conduct.
Before Your First Session
Common First-Time Questions
Is oral or anal sex allowed?
No. Dick sucking (oral) and penetrative fucking (anal) are not permitted, even with consent. See What's Not Permitted in the Code of Conduct.
Where does the session take place?
Sessions are held at a local hotel in the Raleigh area unless stated otherwise. Social events are usually held at a local bar.
Do I have to interact with other guys?
Not at all. You can enjoy yourself solo the entire time. No one will pressure you.
Do I have to stay the whole time?
No. You're welcome to leave whenever you're ready.
What about my privacy?
We handle the basic personal details collected for entry with strict confidentiality. What happens at BATE stays at BATE — our Code of Conduct requires all members to respect each other's anonymity.
What is the Bro Portal?
The Bro Portal is for attendees who have registered for an event. Use it to manage your account.
More answers in the FAQ. Have a question before you attend? Send us a private message.